I’m Veronica (“V”) Beck, technical writer, blogger, and “Mama” in a two-mom family. (Kate is “Mommy”.)
Kate and I got married in 2010, on June 26th. We picked the date because it was a full moon on a weekend. Little did we know how auspicious June 26th would be for the gays. Check it out.
Amazing, right?
Before I met Kate, I never wanted to be a parent. After I met Kate, I still didn’t want to be a parent. She had a two-year-old son, whom I considered a pre-existing condition. One that I could, just possibly, deal with. But another kid? A BABY? No way!
You can see how that turned out. Kate was 10 weeks pregnant, hormonal and crabby as hell, when we got married. (The only lesbian shotgun wedding in history?)
And now, that two-year-old pre-existing condition is a thoughtful, loyal, deep-thinking, brainy, funny and kind, video-game-and-Dungeons-and-Dragons-loving middle schooler. Who hates having his picture taken, but is adorable nonetheless.
And that 10-week old blip in Kate’s uterus is a spitfire, sassy eight-year old with an attitude that won’t quit. I’m convinced it was her sheer determination and force of will that called to Kate from the Great Beyond and told her ready or not, here I come!
So of course, being a writer, I write about these kids who, amazingly, call me mama. And about the things I’ve learned (and continue to learn) along this strange, miraculous journey.
Self-compassion is one of the biggies. Turns out parenting is way easier and more fun when I’m not constantly reminding myself of how badly I’m screwing up. Who knew?!
Other fun facts about me:
I’ve lived in a variety of places, including the California Bay Area, a tiny logging town in rural Idaho, and Nagoya, Japan, where I taught English and ate way too much sushi. I can still recite the Nagoya subway announcement in Japanese. And oddly, a sentence from my college Japanese class that roughly translates as: “because the shrimp was spoiled, I became ill.” You never know when that sentence will come in handy.
I came out in my mid 30’s, which was a huge non-event. “Wait, you mean you weren’t out already? This is, like, a new thing? Really?” Even my elderly, Jewish-turned-Catholic mother took it more or less in stride. It probably helped that she’d already been through it with two or three of my older sisters.
Mom, the undisputed crossword puzzle champion of the family.
In previous incarnations I was a touring musician, website and database programmer, yoga teacher, database consultant, ESL teacher, and a few other careers I can’t remember now. Being a parent addles your brain like that.